A few weeks back, I shared with you my news that after 20 years of working in other people’s classrooms, I decided to scale back my consulting work and return to my own classroom. August 13th was my first day back and I am deeply humbled by the number of you who have written, called, and texted asking how my first few days have gone. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, friends.
If I were to sum up the beginning of the year in a word, it’d be this: overwhelming.
I can honestly say that I had forgotten many of the details required to get a school year off the ground. One of the most challenging details? Learning my students’ names! Remembering the first and last names of 80 students is hard, but add to that my students are all wearing masks which, for me, makes the task infinitely harder!
Getting to know my students has been my priority, but as I toggle between the students sitting before me and those attending virtually via Google Meet, I struggle to figure out how to do this well. In addition to this strange back and forth, students are required to sit in rows facing the same direction which feels wrong and limiting, especially when the heart of my teaching is about growing student thinking through a sea of talk. Depending on the moment, these circumstances are confusing, challenging, frustrating, and at times, downright disheartening. As I drove to work on the first Friday of the first full week of school, my eyes welled with tears. It felt like no amount of effort would be enough to mount the challenges before me.
So, I began that day with a heavy heart but beneath my mask, my eighth graders couldn’t see my despair. I took attendance and began the lesson that I had planned and as I faced the class I realized that one of the students that I had marked absent was sitting directly in front of me. I laughed out loud and told the students how I had received an email from this girl’s mom saying that she wouldn’t be in some of her classes and because I had received that note, I just assumed it would be mine. This led to an impromptu conversation about confirmation bias which happens to be the theme of our upcoming literature study. As students talked, I coached them to “say more” and “add on” to their classmates’ ideas. Their conversation was inspired and insightful. As I listened to them talk, again, I got a little teary but in this moment, instead of despair, I felt hope. I felt love. I felt the energy and excitement of learning.
As your school year begins, you, too, may find yourself on a similar roller coaster of emotions and if you do, I want to say to you this: be kind to yourself. What you’re doing is hard. Hard things take time to figure out. Trust that you are doing better than you think you are and consider accepting that there may be only one way to experience this year: moment by moment.
Best wishes to you all! If your school year has begun, I’m curious to know how it’s been going so please, stop by the comments and share!
