Pssst…come closer. I have a secret to tell you.
When I was a high school senior, I had grand aspirations of getting into a great college. As part of the college bound set, I knew that part of my fate rested with my performance on the SAT and had adopted the following reasoning with regard to test scores:
Twelve hundred and above means I am smart. Every college on my radar would be interested in me.
Between a thousand and 1199 means I am average to slightly above. My dream schools would still be within reach.
Anything below a thousand…well…I could set my sights on community college because only dumb kids got scores like that.
I was set to graduate third in my class. That made me at the very least average, if not slightly above, right? I didn’t even entertain the possibility that I’d get anything less than an 1100.
So, like every college bound high school senior, I took the SAT early in my senior year. When the results came back, I had scored a 980. As you can imagine, not even breaking my threshold for “average” shook my confidence; however, it didn’t crush me. I attributed it to a bad day and signed up to retake it the next time it was offered. I knew I’d do better the second time because, after all, I would be more prepared. I would understand the format better, and I could even study the parts I did poorly on and work harder to improve. So, you can imagine the shock…and horror…I felt when I got my results from the second test and discovered that, not only had I not done better, I scored 90 points lower than I did the first time! This time there were no excuses. These scores could be attributed to one thing and one thing only: I was dumb. The people at ETS told me so. As a college bound, high school senior, they were obligated to tell prospective colleges just how dumb I was.
The weight of the shame was unbearable. In fact, it has been twenty-four years since I took the SAT and I still cannot talk about it without painful feelings of humiliation and self-doubt. My husband wonders why it still bothers me after all these years. He reminds me that I was a successful college student and am successful in my career, but still I can’t help but wonder if other people will wonder what business a woman who couldn’t break 500 on the verbal section of the SAT has teaching others how to comprehend better and build vocabulary? Part of me wonders if I do this work because I need to prove that I can read and I can understand and I do know lots of words. Either way, it is a burden that I bear to this day and it stands as a cautionary tale of the lasting impact that standardized testing can have on an impressionable psyche.
When I took the SAT the first time, I maintained a dynamic mind set. I believed that my results could change with hard work and effort. When I took it the second time and did worse, I adopted a fixed mindset. As Peter Johnston says in Opening Minds, “…in this world, simple events, like mistakes or unsuccessful attempts, are indicators of fixed characteristics” (p.10). In my mind, my failure was not an indication of what I hadn’t learned yet, it was a reflection of who I was and who I would be forever—someone who wasn’t very smart.
We are steeped in a culture of high-stakes testing. Year after year, children take Language Arts assessments and get scores that tell them who they are as readers. A four tells them that they are smart and that they are a really great reader. A three says they are average and a pretty good reader. Anything less than a three is a painful reminder of their reading inadequacies. This test used to happen once a year but now, because we need better measures of growth, we are testing students at the beginning of the year and the end of the year, and in some districts there’s a whole lot more testing in-between as well. Surely, our “threes” and “fours” will enjoy validation that they are “smart,” but what about the students for whom their scores reinforce that they are not? How long will they maintain a mindset that recognizes that the test score is not who they are and that they can change their scores if they work harder? I quit believing after my second failure and I can’t help but wonder if, in our haste to test, test, test so that we can measure, measure, measure, we have created a culture that perpetuates a cycle of devastating self-fulfilling prophecy. Even the best teachers providing the best instruction face an uphill battle when legions of students believe they can’t.
I love this blog! Here is a letter I wrote to me 7th grader during “testing week”. I thought you would like it.
http://www.myedresource.com/you-are-more-than-a-score-to-me/
Dear Hope,
Your letter to your son struck such a chord with me. It made my eyes well with tears and I’m trying to figure out why and I think it is because you touch upon so many things that go unnoticed in our high stakes test culture. It is all rather sad, isn’t it? Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you, Kim. I keep it handy so I can read it often, to myself and to him. Unfortunately, this is a kid that thinks school is about testing. He is much like what you described in your blog. I am constantly working to re-frame his thinking. I love your blogs.
Wow, Kim. Such honesty and so important to be honest. I always think back to the importance of knowing if tests and the questions on them are valid and reliable. Some VERY BRIGHT kids are not good test-takers. Some don’t work well on timed tests. (I am mainly talking younger kids than HS here……but…….) Did you take the prep courses or have a private tutor? I am guessing not. I wonder how the ones who get the “better” scores have gamed or are gaming the system these days. Kids who lives in affluent areas/families will have home advantage and I wonder if the “powers that be” are taking that into consideration. But just think…..more time focused on test prep, ugh.
And I feel for your personal pain and sense of inadequacy at the time. I am really curious how I would fare these days…..I doubt I would do really great on the math portion.
But remember Barry Lane and Amy Ludwig Vanderwater’s song. The title is something like “I Am More Than a Number”…..our kids need to know this. I have talked to some adults who had extra class help in reading and have said they felt dumb and still do to this day because they had to leave the room to go for reading help. Such a conundrum.
Plus keep in mind the lifelong learner. The more we live and grow, the more we can read and absorb and remember and connect to other learning. You are obviously NOT DUMB!!! What about Mulitple Intelligences. Are we going to test for this, too. (I fear putting this idea out there that someone will want to add this to the list….)
Can’t wait to see you at NYSRA!
Janet, you are so sweet. Thank you for your encouraging words, and for the record, I grew up in rural, upstate New York. The nearest SAT test prep class would have been 40 miles away and even if it had been closer, my parents would have been hard pressed to afford it. Given my childhood circumstances, my scores probably made a lot of sense.
Thanks for sharing!
Teaching is one of the few professions where hard work does not always pay off~sometimes the hardest working teachers can have the lowest scores on value-added but have the highest on classroom evaluations. Here’s my secret: I’m one of about 20 teachers at my middle school that had low VA scores on last year’s Tennessee Comprehensive Assessment Program (TCAP) and now must follow a Plan of Assistance. I’ve been teaching 7th grade ELA for 22 years. I’ve always had above average evaluations~this past year I was one of very few who scored a 5 (top score) on at least one evaluation. I’ve had years when my VA scores were 9 points above the mean and some years 2 points below the mean. There seems to be no rhyme or reason. I’m working harder (I’m reading an educational blog on a Saturday morning for goodness’s sake) but not necessarily seeing the gains. I think this is true for our students also~they work hard in class but don’t see the end result that they envisioned. The tests are high-stakes in Tennessee as they count for 25% of the student’s grade and 35% of the teacher evaluation. The Plan of Assistance is only for those teachers who had a 1 on value added, not a 1 on evaluation which counts for 50%. Go figure.
Oh Melissa, my heart goes out to you. I retired two years ago but visit my school more than once a week as it is around the corner and I love it there. In NY state they are just starting APPR or the high stakes testing/teacher eval thing. One of the MOST effective teachers in an area school came out with an extremely low rating this year(though we are not yet in the time when it will “count”). Everyone wants their child to have this teacher. Last year her class was full of children with a variety of needs who made gains but did not test well. So we are just facing what you have faced. I am not sure how the VA works in your state. The schools in NY and the principals are also tied in with the testing. So they get ratings, too. Plus the tests are now being aligned with CCLS which are not fully implemented etc. A huge boondoggle. And teachers like you are being told you need POA……can you talk about what the consists of? It will be interesting to chart/graph this data over time. I mean you may get a top score next year. I think that statisticians need to look more closely at what all this mathematical data really means and how it connects with and affects reality. I would think that if you have had great evals for say 3 consecutive years, they should wait a year to see how you do the next year before implementing a POA. I have seen the pendulum swing over my long career. Once this latest fix shows that it is not going to solve the problems….they will come up with something else. In the meantime, it is what is going on day by day in each classroom that matters. So take heart in the good things you do for kids. Have you read Educating Esme? It is an “old” book published in 2001 or so and I just read it. Worth a look. It’s about a teacher’s first year. I am going to try to find out what Esme is up to these days. Real life, real kids, real situation. Do you get to know what the tests will be like in advance? I have heard that in NY you are not supposed to look at the test. I also hear that you now will not be able to adminster the test to your own students. Do you get to see an item analysis? There is so much I could say on this subject. Do they factor in kid’s attendance etc.? Or how long a kid was actually your student? And 20 teachers in one school? What % is that? How can that be? YIKES and good luck. Try to stay positive and know that the kids you affect matter more than the test scores in the end.
Melissa, a million thanks for your heartfelt response to this post. I know how soul bearing it felt to reveal my secret so therefore, can relate to what it was like for you to write your response. Your response lends a whole other perspective to the big picture of assessment. It is bleak…I feel hard pressed to believe that we can reform education without the help of the people on the front lines—TEACHERS! I feel a sad sense of defeat while at the same time, a rally cry calls out from deep within me. The other day we posed the question “What is essential to great change and transformation?” My best response to that question is solidarity. We’ve got to start to stand together and say enough is enough.
My POA starts off by stating the reason for the POA: In the 3 years I made value added scores of 1,3, and 2. They averaged the 3 scores to get a 1.59 which somehow translates to a 1 (that’s not how I average grades~to me that is closer to a 2). My assistance states that I must (a) take 2 half professional days to observe effective teachers, (b) have an additional walk-through evaluation in addition to the 2 per semester that I already have to have, (c) read a professional article or book per quarter and write a summary of each, (d) complete an essential learning chart in addition to my lesson plans (that must be submitted to my admin) each week~the ELC states what each learner must accomplish each lesson, how I will assess the learning, and what my remediation plans are for those who do not mastery the objective, (d) administer a benchmark each quarter, analyze the data, and discuss with my admin the results and plans for remediation, (e) plan all lessons in collaboration with other 7th grade ELA teachers, (f) submit my in-service hours to my admin (I have 28; my state requires 12), (g) develop a personal growth plan to include additional in-services or webinars that relate to those areas in which growth is needed (I’m still not sure as my evaluations were excellent), and (h) show gains in value added on the spring TCAP.
The following groups received POA’s at my school: all six 7th grade ELA teachers (over 50% of 7th grade ELA teachers in TN received a 1 for value added), all three 7th grade science teachers, all three 8th grade science teachers, all three special education teachers, both sixth grade math teachers (that is just 17 instead of the 20 I stated earlier~blame it on hyperbole). None of the social studies teachers received POA’s because their scores are not counted as value added, nor did any of the elective teachers because their subjects are not tested.
I believe I went through all of the stages of grief: at first I was shocked and angry, then I cried, then I resigned myself to the situation and decided that I could either give up or find a way to fix this. I want to retire from teaching in 8 years so I’m going to do what I need to do.
Thanks for the book suggestion; I’ve heard of the book and will again consider reading it (maybe make it part of my POA?). Yes, solidarity among teachers is one of the ways that we can affect change~but change in what? The scores or public education?
The POA ends by stating that if I do not show significant gains, one of four things could happen: continue with the plan, transfer to another position, not be re-hired (I can’t think of the 4th thing).
The numbers do not define me. I know that I’m a gifted teacher. Unfortunately, I just have to prove it.
Melissa
This is even worse than I could have imagined. How do you end up having any time to live or energy to teach after all of the hoop jumping? Imagine if “you” were truly a needy teacher how this would actually help you???? It is a shame that caring and strong, gifted teachers are now in many places talking about when they can retire. I hope your administration is supportive. And glad that you are staying strong! Others might not have the conviction or strength to do that. Also who do you plan with if the other teachers are all on the same POA plan? If 50% got a 1, something is not right. Could it be the testing???? This sounds infuriating. I can understand that there are some floundering teachers who need help but there has to be some over-ride/waiver built in to keep this from happening to perfectly fine teachers. The ELC thing sounds overwhleming, too. Have you read Nancie Atwell’s The Reading Zone? That is a good book, but she has her own private school so she is able to choose how she teaches using the reading and writing workshop model. I hope you might be able to get to a great conference. I have been able to atttend a lot in the last few years and they are truly energizing and you learn so much so quickly. I think Kelly Gallagher has some great books for HS that could be adapted to MS, too. Educating Esme is a quick read, but probably won’t address the specifics of your “issues”. She was creative and stood her ground and her kids gained on the testing they had at that time. But she did say that she was “fried” by year’s end. That is the point. Superwoman has to have a life, time to read, ponder, re-charge and then teach in an inspired way. However, as William Glasser says, it is a choice. Kids are the ones who do the learning. And we cannot control that aspect no matter who we are. Surely we can help and do, but ultimately it is a choice for each person how they engage and grow. I could go on. Just wanted to offer you some further support. A more experienced teacher used to remind me over the years that “this too shall pass” in education, but right now, until the politicians figure it out, this kind of pathetic stuff is going to happen. You have my sympathy and respect. I think we need to change public education at the local level. This one size fits all is never going to work in a country as large and diverse as it is. And at the same time, I don’t want to see kids in “bad” schools either. If you never read Pat Conroy’s The Water is Wide made into the movie Conrack, I loved it. Have you written letters to your representatives about all of this? Maybe we need to start doing that kind of thing instead of suffering in “silence” or “embarrassment”….how long have you had this system in TN? It is just starting in NY thanks to Race to the Top.
My admin is fantastic as is one of my close friends who works at our central office. Everyone but the big wigs in Nashville (state capital) knows the system cannot sustain this. This is our first year implementing the POA’s. I’m sure it won’t last. This is a direct result of Race to the Top in Tennessee also. Just tell your teachers to hold on tight because this is one h*** of a ride.
Melissa